Mended Hearts Series:2: Through The Glass
by ExistInspire
Summary: As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

**Series: **Mended Heart Series

**Characters:** Shane (Gregory) Helms, Stacy Keibler, and appearances by other superstars from previous books in the series.

**Authors Note:** This is book two in the new series I am creating. I hope to make this one bigger and better then the one before it although my love of both is pretty strong. Thank you for any and all interest in these stories and should you feel the need, please review and let me know what you think but remember that it is not mandatory and I will not show up at your door pissed off at the end of it. Also on a side note, if this couple is going to bother you, stop reading now because it is only going to bother you more as you read because this is a romance novel and they will fall in love. Now that you have been warned, we shall start the next installment of the series.

* * *

**I'm looking at you through the glass **

He slammed his way into the locker room, his heart breaking in what felt like a million pieces all at once. Wasn't it enough that he had to overhaul his entire career up until this point? To do away with the good he had accomplished with marketing and the fans with the Hurricane and now be something that he just didn't have in him to be? Why did she have to come along and drop her bomb at the same time? How much was a man really supposed to handle before he had the breakdown?

Her and her damn letters. He had loved that about her when she had admitted her feelings for him in one but now it was just too much. If she had really loved him the way he had her wouldn't she come to him and tell him she needed time apart? Why all of the head games and the letters. He hadn't seen her since she had dropped the letter off to him, kissed him goodbye and went off to Hollywood to be the next big thing and that alone was paining him more then he could let on.

He ripped the letter out of his bag and allowed himself the painful pleasure of reading her words, as if by reading them it would make it seem like a sweet fairytale. One that hadn't had the ending written yet and he could turn back the clock and change. A choose your own adventure of sorts. Something he desperately wished he could do now.

Flinging himself down on the cold hard bench below he slipped the letter more carefully out of the envelope and sat back, letting the words overtake him and bring him to a place he had long since forgotten existed. A place where only the lonely hearts could go.

**Dear Shane,**

**This is one of the hardest letters for me to write but I see no other way around it. I have taken the job on the ABC show and I will be leaving immediately to fly out and begin my new adventure. I want to be able to say we will stand the test of time but I don't think we can. My past actually dictates that it cannot. **

**I love you, I have always loved you but my heart is calling me somewhere else, a place where right now, after numerous talks with you, you are not ready to enjoy and to embrace. I will miss you, there will never be a day when I do not think of you but it is better for all of us if we just end this where it is now.**

**I know this is cold and calculated, ending it in the very letters that made you love me in the first place but I cannot face you with this revelation. Please move on and be happy and forget all of the anger and pain I am about to cause you and your sweet heart. **

**I am so sorry Shane and I hope one day when we both look back on this, we can be friends.**

**Stacy.**

Cold and calculated was one way of putting what she had done. Stupid and inconsiderate was another. Just what the hell did she think he was going to feel getting a Dear John letter from her ending what he thought was the first relationship of his life where he actually opened himself up enough to love someone.

Well the joke was on him because he was the one that was here alone and she was off in Hollywood living it up. He had seen the magazine articles about the show and about how she was now sort of dating an actor from a WB show. It looked like as much as she loved him, she enjoyed putting the dagger a little deeper more.

_What was I thinking falling in love with this woman?_

_She said she loved you and you believed it._

_I was an idiot._

He had been having the same inbound conversations with himself since the day he had gotten the letter and the kiss off from her a week before. He was in the middle of a career overhaul and then this happens. He had been tempted to leave the WWE and walk away for good. But his best friend and fellow North Carolina native wouldn't let him.

Jeff Hardy had gone through much of the same thing when he had walked away from Trish all those years ago, but now they were on the fast track to admitting their feelings, to almost being married. Something Shane had wanted to attain for years and had failed at. He had thought that if his friend could do it, and finally be happy, then so could he. How wrong he was.

What no one knew though, was that the night of the kiss off, he had been waiting to take her out to dinner and it was going to be the night where he laid it all on the line and asked for her hand in marriage. Looking back now, sitting in the locker room alone with his thoughts, he knew that his friends were right when they said it was smart that he found out before he had popped the question. But he also knew deep down that if he had been given the chance to ask her, maybe she wouldn't have walked away from him.

What had gone so wrong? He could have been there with her and her career without the WWE. He would have understood it and made a real effort to make it work. So why did she run and what was she hoping to gain by doing it the way she had?

He heard the voice then, breaking him away from the letter, which was now crunched up in his hands, and the thoughts of the woman he had thought he loved.

"Shane if you want her, you are going to have to fight for her. Sitting here and reading that damn letter is not going to make her leaving you any easier."

He looked up into the eyes of his caring friend and admitted deep inside that Jeff was right. If there was anyone on the roster who could prove that fact to him, it was the man standing before him now. The man that in nine short months was about to become a father.

"How am I supposed to fix this Jeff when she made it clear I do not fit in her world anymore?"

"Go to Hollywood and do whatever it takes to make her see Shane, because if you don't, you are going to do what I did three years ago with Trish and end up worse off then you are now."

Was his friend right? Is that what he needed to do? Go to her, throw the letter in her face and tell her just how he felt and how he would never really give up on her and what they shared? Or would doing that make things even worse and make her run even further away?

There was only one way to find out.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

**Authors Notes:** Thank you for any and all reviews thus far in the story. It means alot. I hope you like where I take this story :)

* * *

**Don't know how much time has passed**

_Call him. You know its what you want to do._

It had been over a week since she had written what must look like a Dear Shane letter to him and sitting in her hotel room now, awaiting the car to come and pick her up for her appearance at the studio later that day, she knew she wanted nothing more then to break down and call him.

God what he must think of her after what she had done. She had not been in contact since she had kissed him on the cheek and handed him the letter that fateful night just over a week ago. It was painful to even think about, leaving him the way she had. She had wanted to tell him face to face what was going on, to make him understand what was going on with her but she just couldn't.

He was trying to become someone in the wrestling world and she knew that she just did not fit there anymore. A lot had changed since she had started dating him a year before, when they had placed them together in the storyline. He had gotten under her skin instantly and she had no other choice but fall. And fall she had, and if the way she was feeling now was any indication, she wouldn't be over him anytime soon.

Why had she walked away the way she had? Why couldn't she have gone to him and told him just what was really happening in her mind and in her body? Instead she had chosen the path of least resistance and walked away. God he had know idea as to the real reasoning behind why she had walked away and if she had her way now, he would never know.

He couldn't deal with it and she was wondering herself if she could really deal with it herself. She had no one out here in Hollywood to talk too about what was really going on with her mind and body. She had no one back home in her hometown either. Her parents had long since moved and they didn't keep in constant contact with her like they once had.

Maybe this wasn't the smartest thing she had ever done, nor one of the right things in her life either but she knew deep inside the recesses of her mind that eventually it would turn out alright and she would move on.

But would Shane ever move on? Would he question the abruptness of her departure and follow her here to get his answers? And what would she say in a few months when the answers would be more then clear to everyone and anyone who cared to look deep enough?

"You have a meeting with the executives at ABC in an hour and then you meet your new dance partner for the show shortly after that. We then have you booked for an appearance on a morning talk show tomorrow morning and a signing at a Borders shortly after that."

Her assistant, the every vigilant Marina. What would Stacy do if she didn't have this woman to keep her whole life in check for her? But the minute she thought of it she knew that even Marina didn't know everything. When would be the right time to spring this on her assistant and hope that she could spin it in such a way where it didn't ruin the life she was now building for herself away from the ring?

She knew the wrestling situation would never be her destiny, she couldn't wrestle worth a lick and she didn't need a multitude of people to tell her it. She had known from an early time that all she would be was a looker in the business. Someone who might not pose for naked pictures but would most certainly take off her immediate clothes for attention. She was nothing more then that at this stage and it was time for a change.

But Shane had seen her differently. He had loved her for who she really was away from the ring and the cameras. The nights they had spent both in Baltimore where she now lived and Smithfield where he was living when not on the road spoke for that. He had spent many a night telling her that she needed to do more and she had so much more potential that was untapped.

She had heard every word of it and been more then thankful for the support. He had been her rock when her relationship with Andrew had gone back and forth like a boomerang and when they finally got to work together, it was only a matter of time before he seeped into her heart in more then that way.

She wanted to marry him, to have a family with him but the one time they had discussed the future he had made it perfectly clear that family and marriage weren't in his vision of the way things needed to be with him and his career for the next three years.

_Which is why you ran and now you sit alone._

That was a mild way of putting it and she knew her mind was only giving her the easy version because she still had not come to terms with the real reality of her life and what would be happening in it in the near future.

Just what was she thinking hiding it the way she was and running from what her heart really wanted? Did she really think that she could move on and find love with someone else?

_You will never really move on until the truth is out and the reason for you running is confirmed. _

She knew this to be the truth but she didn't care anymore. It had to be this way, for both her and for Shane and as much as she didn't want to admit it, their conversation about the future was the reason for it. She would stay away and make the best of it and turn her life around before it became not only about her anymore.

**Flashback**

"_Where do you see yourself in five years Shane? Do you really think you will be wrestling with the WWE or do you see bigger things for yourself?" she asked him as they watched the fire roaring and crackling in front of them. _

_He rubbed his hands down the course of her long slender arms, taking the feel of her in and letting it envelope his senses. If he had been asked a year ago if he would see himself here with this woman he would have laughed in your face, but now it was a reality and he also knew so was the conversation._

"_I see myself as something more then the Hurricane and yeah I suppose I see myself in the WWE. Why? Where you do see us in five years?"_

"_Married with children."_

_He laughed then, pulling her even closer. The fact that she could even think of their life in terms of marriage and family was astounding to him. He had never for one second believed she was the woman for him. But he knew how she was and he did not want to change it. _

"_Is that what you want?"_

_She blushed and buried her face in his chest, unbelievably shy all of a sudden at the thought of telling him just how far into their future she had gone. _

"_Stacy tell me, is that what you want for real?"_

"_Why does it matter Shane? I just wanted to know what you wanted in terms of your career."_

_He nodded his head, his mind spinning with where this conversation was heading. He had thought about the future for them himself but his version while with the same end result, was a little different in terms of time line. _

"_Stacy I love you and you know that by now. I just don't think with the way my career is bouncing around right now that I want to think of marriage and a family. When the time is right sure, I want that. Don't we all want that deep down? But I want to be able to support my family and be there to see any children I have grow up. Do you understand that?"_

_She nodded silently and just cuddled herself more into his chest then she had been before, letting the sound of the fire around her distract her from what her heart really felt. It was only when Shane spoke next that she felt her heart and her dreams smash in two._

"_Can you accept that I want to wait?"_

**End Flashback**

She hadn't been able to accept it then but she had made sure that he thought she had. And look where it had gotten her now, running from him and alone with more then her share of worries. She stared at the phone again, the urgent aching to call him still paramount in her mind.

Would he really understand it even if I did call and tell him the real reason why I walked away?

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Music Disclaimer:** The song used is Through the Glass by Stone Sour. It is owned by the band and the writers of the lyrics and original music and is used here purely for entertainment purposes. No infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**Oh, god it feels like forever **

"So are you going to do what I said and find her?" Jeff asked his friend.

They were both there on Smack down, Jeff, there for his brother Matt and the match that he was going to have to endure for yet another week on the secondary show, and Shane, there for his final match before he went off for surgery. Not a lot of people knew it but he was debating whether or not to even come back after he had the surgery. Who would really notice if he just vanished off the map entirely and went back to his life before the WWE?

"I don't know Jeff. She made it pretty clear that I didn't fit in with her plans for her new life. What would be the point of chasing after her and putting myself even more deeply into it? Shouldn't I just thank God that she did it now instead of when we were married and move on?"

Jeff nodded, knowing that he had been there before as well, the same place as Shane was now. While they were friends, the best of them actually, he was actually closer with Jeff's brother Matt due to the age difference. Which made him wonder why he was confiding in him now when really he assumed Matt would have been the better confidante.

It was public knowledge though that Jeff had let the one woman he loved more then life get away from him and he was living proof that chasing after it could possibly fix it and bring about the eternal happiness again. Trish had been his one true love but instead of realizing it back in the day, he had chosen to spare her a life of hurt and walk away. Little did he know then what he did now. He had caused her more pain doing that then what it took to chase her now.

He had gotten what he wanted and he knew that Shane could have it too. It was public knowledge just how much he loved Stacy and it was only a matter of time before he got his butt in gear and did something about it.

"You won't walk away and start over fresh and you know it." Jeff announced, watching Shane's face change and knowing he had hit the right mark.

"I know but I just don't see what chasing her can accomplish."

"It will make her tell you just why she really ran from you and why she needed to lie. Look Shane, I don't have all the answers but because I was the one guy that lied when I walked away from the one great love of my life, I do think there is more to all of this then what she said. She is hiding something that she thinks you are better off not knowing and you need to know what that is before you can really move on. If that is even what you want to do."

He had a point and Shane knew it. She had run from him and that letter meant nothing to him. He knew there was something more going on and that Stacy wouldn't have just written him off the way she had. He was adaptable to any situation and the fact that they had been together for over a year and she knew this was testament enough to that fact. He would have taken any career choice she wanted in stride and he would never have walked away from her because it was a different dream then his own.

What really was his dream anymore? Did he even know? He had wanted nothing more then to be the big dog in the WWE and now that he was here, well on his way to a new career boost, he found himself with a shift in priorities. He didn't want what he had once wanted and instead found himself wanting what he should have wanted all along.

He wanted to marry the girl of his dreams, and he knew he had found her in Stacy Keibler. They had built something. Something that wouldn't be ended because she had written him off. He couldn't shut off his feelings that easily and he had a feeling that she couldn't either.

_Stacy why did you run from me? What are you hiding that you think I won't understand?_

He knew talking to himself wouldn't give him the answers and only doing what Jeff had said would do it. But deep inside he was hurting, and he didn't know if chasing after her would make it better or worse. Sure, she might be hiding something deep down from him but didn't they all feel the need to hide something? Something that could be theirs and theirs alone?

_You never hid anything._

_I know that._

_Then you also know that what she is hiding is something you need to know._

_No kidding._

Damn these internal conversations. They were doing nothing for his sanity and he knew as sure as Jeff Hardy sat before him that he was only going to lose his mind if he kept having them.

"You're going to chase her aren't you?" the voice of his friend said, bringing him away from the insanity of his heart and mind and back to the present and just what he had to do.

"You know I am Jeff. The only question now is, just how fast I can get out there and find out just what the hell is going on."

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Music Disclaimer:** The song used is Through the Glass by Stone Sour. It is owned by the band and the writers of the lyrics and original music and is used here purely for entertainment purposes. No infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**But no one ever tells you that forever  
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head**

It was times like this that Stacy felt that her life was normal and that it would remain that way despite everything that had happened. She had gotten a visit, one from a friend that she had considered long lost and now was here and acting as if they had never lost touch at all.

Of course she knew the story, the one that had been circulating in the wrestling world and even in some of the low key tabloids for the past few days now. Trish Stratus had finally gone through with her divorce from Ron and was well on her way to marrying Jeff Hardy. Some even said they were already secretly married but there had been no admittance from either party yet.

You had to be dead not to know the story of these two. She had been there through it all, along with Trish's hometown girl Ashley and Jeff's brother Matt and Shane her boyfriend at the time. They had all known that eventually those two would end up together and now with the visit from Trish, she knew that she had been right all along. They had finally got through all of their pain and baggage and ended up where they needed to be this entire time. They were together.

Knowing their story the way she did, intimately, it gave her hope on days when hope seemed almost lost that everything could work out well for her and Shane as well. But as soon as the though would cross her mind she would banish it quickly. She needed to give up on the hope of things finally working out and focus all her attention where it needed to be.

It was times like this though, that she remembered the good times with Shane, before all of the heartache and pain had set in and caused a rift with her. The times when they had all worked on the same show and had gone back and forth to North Carolina together. Jeff and Trish, her and Shane and at the time Ashley and Matt. The days and nights of hanging out in Raleigh and visiting City Limits.

**Flashback**

_He had an ulterior motive for bringing her here tonight. Of course it was the hang out for everyone who was anyone within the North Carolina state and after all of their years as famous wrestlers it was a staple for them to show up here in Thursday nights. This one Thursday in particular. _

_They were having their usual Babes in Bikini's Bull Riding contest and now that he had been dating Stacy for longer then the allotted time for a wrestler to date another wrestler, he knew it was time to bring her here and join her in with the fun of this moment. _

_A Yearly tradition in Raleigh at this bar and one that he had been at every year since it had begun. Now it was time for Stacy to get in on the fun as well. Sure he had told her about the contest and she had blown him off, but seeing the way she was into it now, he knew that it was only a matter of time before she would give him his wildest fantasy and jump on the bull as well. _

"_You really want me to do this? Come on Shane isn't that setting women back a few hundred years?" she had laughed and said as they enjoyed the company around them and the drinks. _

"_It might be but you can't deny how much fun it would be to see those legs on a bull."_

_Of course they had been sleeping together for some time at this point and he always found her legs to be a fascinating point of conversation. It was normally that way on television as well but with the two of them, he knew what her legs could do and deep down he just wanted to see if she could do the same thing with the annual contest._

"_You know when you look at me like that I can't say no." she quipped. "Bring on the damn bull."_

_Jeff and Trish had laughed at that and watched in morbid fascination as she had gone ahead and hopped on the bull. Trish might not get up the nerve to do it but she was deeply interested in what Stacy would be able to do once she got on the beast. Mechanical or not._

_She had ridden the bull for a total of 10 minutes and then thrown herself off of it because the sheer pain of staying on had been too much to handle. But Shane had been sold on it and for the rest of their relationship, he had bragged that his girlfriend had been the one female to tame the beast of the City Limits bar. So much so in fact that a year later she had come back, determined to top her old record and smashing it at 15 minutes._

**End Flashback**

Why was she allowing herself to focus on that now? Was it because Trish had come to visit and she was reliving one of their times together with their men from Carolina? Or was it because she knew she was hiding a secret and it was threatening to come to the surface at any moment with her friend?

"You miss him don't you?" Trish asked, bringing Stacy back to the hotel room and back to the conversation they had been trying to have before the past got in the way.

"I do. But I had to do this Trish. I know it seems cruel the way I ended it but it has to be better this way."

"Why? What is it that you aren't telling me or telling Shane? What are so afraid to say to the people that care about you?"

Stacy thought about what to say. So it was obvious to Trish that there was something more going on under the surface and she knew that normally Stacy wouldn't have walked away from Shane so easily. Was this the time to finally come clean and admit why she had run? Was it time to admit it not only to her friends and family but to herself as well?

"Trish there is nothing to hide here. Just that i finally realized that what I wanted and what Shane did were two different things."

Trish threw her friend a look of confusion, not understanding what she meant and Stacy knew that she didn't even understand it either. She had thought that the time would come where Shane would want to settle down with her for life, and she had once thought they had reached that point but had been dead wrong. So what else was there left to say?

"Explain what you mean."

"Shane and I had different ideas about the seriousness of the relationship is all."

Trish then got a knowing expression over her features and nodded tightly. So this was what it all came down too. Shane had wanted to marry her and she had not been ready.

"He asked you to marry him right? I mean I knew he was going too but he hadn't come to terms with when he was going to do it."

Stacy almost fell off the bed at that moment in shock. Shane had been planning on asking her to marry him? Since when?

"No he didn't. Trish are you telling me that you knew he was going to do it?"

Her friend nodded and then Stacy felt her heart break into a million pieces. She really had run for nothing and all this time she had thought she had done the right thing. She had no idea what to do now, but she knew that it was time she be honest about the real reason she had left. If anyone deserved to know now, it was her friend.

"I had no idea he thought that seriously about us. If I had known I never would have left the way I did."

"What does that mean Stacy? Why did you leave?" her friend probed.

"I'm pregnant with Shane's baby Trish and I thought he didn't want anything to do with a serious commitment so I thought he was better off not knowing and better off not having to deal with it."

She was pregnant and she had walked away from the one man she had decided to love for the rest of her life. He had loved her just as much though and as she sat stewing in that thought for a few minutes she realized that now nothing would ever be the same again. And it was all her fault.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**How do you feel? That is the question**

"Say that again?" Trish said, almost having to choke the words out to make sure she had heard them right. Had Stacy just said she was pregnant?

"I think you heard me fine, you just can't believe it. Truth be told I can't believe it either. I still keep believing I will wake up and all of this will be a bad dream."

Trish knew that she had to broach this subject with Stacy no matter what her feelings were at the current moment. She didn't want to do it but she knew that she wouldn't be able to rest until it was out in the open.

"Are you planning on telling Shane that he has a child?"

Stacy looked away, not wanting to look her friend in the eye. She knew what a horrible person she was for doing this the way she was but she didn't have a better option. Shane had made it clear and there was nothing that Stacy could do to make that idea change. She had to do things this way.

The guilt was killing her with each passing second though and she knew that Trish could feel it just as strongly. She wasn't the type of person to run this way and there was a lot of explaining to do for everyone to understand the reasons she had done it. Not everyone would understand or even pretend to do it for her sake.

"We talked about this, if he was ready for a family, for things to go to the next level and he wasn't. I thought about telling him the whole thing and taking things from there. But Trish I do not want to be the reason he gives up on his dreams within the WWE. I do not want to be that girl. It would only mean more pain for all of us, the baby included if I was selfish that way."

Her friend made a very valid point but Trish had been there before. She was now pregnant with Jeff's child and as many problems as they had been having when she had found out about it, she knew that deep down he needed to know, no matter what it meant for his career. Shane was much the same way as Jeff in their thinking. Family always did come first and Trish knew that Stacy must not have held out much hope for that because she had run away the first chance she got.

"I know you don't want to hear this but Stacy, he has a right to know. It is his child as much as it is yours. You two need to deal with this together. Take it from someone who spent years running from the truth. It always comes out in the end and it will turn out good or bad depending on how you deal with it ahead of time. Shane loves you. He loved you enough to want to take that next step with you. But you ran before he could get the chance. So why not make up for that now by giving him another chance to make this right again?"

She shook her head, not wanting to allow the thought to even pass her mind. Her decision was made. She had come here to Hollywood to deal with her career and to deal with the repercussions of the night they had succumbed to each other in passion. She needed to be here now, doing things her way, no matter what Trish or everyone else believed.

But what she was afraid to admit most was that Trish was right. He did have a right to know about the baby and he needed to be given a shot at making it work. She just knew that she didn't have it in her to tell him and she wondered if she ever would.

"Do you love Shane? I mean really love him Stacy?" Trish asked, bringing her back to the subject at hand.

"Of course I do. It's taken everything in me not to call him and ask him to come here and bring me home."

"Home to where?"

"To Carolina. To the only place I ever felt truly safe and secure. But I can't do that to him Trish, no matter what you think is right, this is the right thing for everyone involved. I know it is. Promise me you won't tell him."

Trish turned away from her friends pleading eyes, wanting so much to make this young woman understand what she was asking her to do. She was friends with Shane, as close as they could be given the job they did for a living. He was her boyfriends best friend, someone he considered honorary family. Asking her to keep this kind of a secret would not only kill her inside but it also might add more strain to the renewed relationship she had with Jeff.

As if reading her mind where Jeff was concerned, Stacy spoke again, calmer and more rational this time.

"You can't tell Jeff either Trish. This has to stay between the two of us."

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer**

He sat on the plane, wishing as hard as he could for an easy take off and an even calmer landing. He was doing it, just like he told Jeff he would do. He was going to her and he was going to get the answers his heart was seeking. He knew it would happen and he knew it would happen just this way but he had no idea if at the end of it he would be moving on with his life alone or if he would be back with Stacy, the woman he loved again.

Jeff knew what he was talking about, and he only hoped that doing this would bring Stacy and him one step closer to getting what they both had wanted. He wanted to marry her, to put the ring on her finger and make her his forever. He knew deep down that she had wanted the same thing and he had just taken too long to ask her. He had made her run and now he had to find out why and what he could do to fix it.

_All things can be fixed if you just believe in me._

The magnitude of the statement hit him then, like a smack across the face. This time it wasn't his voice that had been talking to him. It wasn't the little voice that sometimes lead him in the wrong direction. This was the voice of something higher, something more knowledgeable and all knowing and he felt an easy calm take over his body.

He had never been much for believing, although his life growing up had certainly been filled with it. But there was no denying now that the voice that had spoken to him was the infinite power and was trying to lead him where his heart and soul belonged. That being with Stacy. If he had God on his side then there was no reason why she wouldn't come around to his way of thinking again and make his heart stop hurting.

As the stewardess walked past him he tapped her on the arm. He knew the flight was bound to take off any time now and he wanted to be sure he had time for one phone call.

"How much longer before we are in the air miss?" he asked, his southern accent shining through as he smiled at the young woman before him. He didn't want to be a bother but he needed to know he had enough time to make just one call.

"About another fifteen minutes sir. Is there something I can do for you or get?"

"I just wanted to be sure I had enough time to make a quick phone call before we took off. I know the rules of flying and I didn't want to mess with anything. Do you think I have enough time for another phone call?"

She nodded her head and smiled his way. If his heart hadn't already been stolen by the most beautiful woman in the world he might have given this girl another shot and his cell number. But he was a changed man now, the days of old and flirting were long over. His heart belonged to another and nothing would ever change it. Even if she had decided to throw it all away for Hollywood.

He dialed the number he knew by heart and waited as it rang. He knew the man would be home because it being a Sunday afternoon, he was spending it the way he always did. With his family and with his beliefs. When the voice answered he breathed a sigh of relief. Finally he would get the answers he sought.

"Shawn, it's Shane. I hope I am not interrupting anything but I needed to get your thoughts on something. It's something that only you can answer for me."

"Well I can try my best. Whats on your mind?"

"Has God ever talked to you before. Like your inner voice but different somehow?"

Shawn took a deep breath, leaving Shane wondering what he was planning on saying next. He certainly hoped that the man who proclaimed to be on a higher level with God didn't think him to be insane.

"Yes Shane I have, on more then one occasion in the last five years. You want to tell me why you're asking?"

Here was the do or die moment. Where he laid out his plan to someone other then Jeff Hardy and got a reaction for it. Someplace deep inside he knew that doing this could end up breaking his heart worse but he also knew that he had to do it in order to finally have peace.

"I am on a flight to L.A. And I am going to try and convince Stacy to give me another shot. I had been thinking about what I was going to say or do when I got there and he spoke to me Shawn. At first I thought it was just my own playing tricks but I know better now. I just needed to know that I wasn't actually losing my mind and that it has happened before."

"Well Shane, you aren't losing your mind. What you are doing though is following the path that he chose for you and he is letting you know in no uncertain terms that you are making the right choice. I won't preach to you about it, but I think he's working on you and you will soon learn and receive everything you heart desires. Just don't lose whatever faith you have."

He said goodbye to the man known as the Heartbreak Kid and snapped his cell phone shut, putting it away in his carry on bag, all the while thinking about what Shawn had told him.

"_I think he's working on you and you will soon learn and receive everything your heart desires."_

How did Shawn know what his heart desired? Was it that easy to see written all over his face? Or was it just that Shawn was telling him what he needed to hear and Shane was actually having a spiritual moment. One that would never be forgotten?

All he knew for sure in that moment was that God had spoken to him and had told him that as long as he believed he would get what he wanted. And what he wanted more then anything short of breathing was the chance to be with Stacy again. To make her see just how much love their shared and how they needed to be together to make it flourish forever.

He had to also make her see that he wanted to marry her and make them both complete inside. If he failed so be it, but he wouldn't leave Hollywood until she knew just how serious he took his feelings for her and hers for him.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Music Disclaimer:** The song used is Through the Glass by Stone Sour. It is owned by the band and the writers of the lyrics and original music and is used here purely for entertainment purposes. No infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**When something like a soul becomes  
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes **

She sat in the green room of the television show she was about to do an appearance on and took in her surroundings. If anyone had asked her only a few short months earlier if she would ever find herself sitting here for anything other then the WWE she would have laughed and told them a very sure no. But here she was, she was starring on Dancing with the Stars and was well on her way to being something more then she thought she ever could be.

So why didn't she feel whole inside? Why did it feel cold and lonely where she now sat?

She shook her head then, trying to break the thoughts that threatened to force their way through. She had spent the weekend hanging out with Trish and now that her friend was gone back to her life with Jeff and the WWE, she knew she had to get on with hers as well. All thoughts of Shane and the secret that she kept had to be just that.

She had surely made Trish uncomfortable, asking her to hide this from her future husband and his best friend. But she knew that if she indeed wanted to move on with her life as she stated, then this was the only way. She only hoped that the seriousness of the issue at hand did not ruin her friendship with the young woman from Canada, who now resided on Hardy land in Carolina.

The door opened and the stage hand motioned that it was time for her interview. She pasted the smile on her face, the one that had garnered her the shot on the hit reality dance show and she followed the stage worker to where she would now make her entrance to the Regis and Kelly audience. She had adapted rather well to the fake smile she now wore, wishing she was anywhere but there in that moment and she was proud of herself. She really was a damn good actor.

The typical Live music hit and she made her way out onto the sound stage, all the while keeping her mind off of the baby growing inside of her and the father that had no idea he was going to be a father and more on the topic of the show and what she would be doing after it, should she not win.

After a few questions about the show, Kelly started digging just a little bit deeper. It was then that Stacy felt her stomach drop, the feeling like one of being in an elevator and having it drop fast 10 feet. If she wasn't careful she was going to be sick to her stomach on national television.

"You have a glow about you Stacy, why is that?" Kelly asked then, not in the slightest seeing a change in the young former Diva.

"I am on a hit show with a great dance partner and I have one of the best men in the world by my side through it all. Shouldn't that be enough reason to smile?" she managed to choke out, all the while worried about her nausea and how quickly it was going to become a problem.

"Seeing as you are a former wrestler, is there anyone special from those days that you miss?" Regis asked, his pasted on smile almost as fake as the one Stacy was struggling to hold.

"No one special. There was at one time but we grew apart. I miss all my friends in the locker room but they are all rooting me on and I thank them all for it. I couldn't be where I am not without all of those wonderful people."

Please don't let Shane see this interview was all she could think about as she said the answer that everyone was expecting her to say. She knew that it wasn't true in the slightest but that it would be written and talked about that way. She really hoped he knew deep down that she hadn't meant a word of it.

The interview came to a sweet close then, and as soon as they went to commercial break, Stacy was racing out of the chair and into the green room and the bathroom that was in there. She bent down over the toilet and let the wave of sickness take her over. Her final thoughts as she pushed her head deep into the bowl was how she really hoped Shane hadn't seen the mockery she had just made of their relationship on national television.

After a few minutes she stood from the bowl, her knees shaking from the violent spasms and the nausea that still threatened her body. She knew this was par for the course of pregnancy but she had been hoping that it would come a little later along or not at all. She exited the bathroom and thats when she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

She looked in the way of the door and she knew why she was on high alert. Because standing there before her now was the one man she had tried to run from. He was here and he didn't look in the slightest bit happy to see her. Just when she thought her day couldn't get any worse...it looked like it was about too.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Music Disclaimer:** The song used is Through the Glass by Stone Sour. It is owned by the band and the writers of the lyrics and original music and is used here purely for entertainment purposes. No infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**You can't expect a bit of hope**

He watched her, the range of emotions telling all over her face. God how many nights had he lain awake in bed and just stared at that face, wishing with all his might that God would never break the two of them apart. But yet here they were, and as he looked at her now, her shocked expression turning to that of intense anger, he knew he loved her no matter how she looked.

"Shane what are you doing here?" she asked, not finding her voice the way she had so obviously hoped she would because Shane heard the cracks beginning to develop there. "I thought I said everything that needed to be said."

He shook his head no and wondered if it would scare her if he moved nearer to her. He wanted nothing more then to wrap his arms around her and never let go, but he knew that wouldn't go over well and if there was one thing he prided himself on, it was taking his time and letting the woman in his life lead the way. He did not want to spook her and make her run the way she had over a week ago.

"I know what you said but I had to see you for myself and have you tell me to my face. I mean a letter was a nice touch because I loved getting those love notes from you, but to end it that way wasn't what I had in mind. Can you do that for me Stacy? Tell me what you said then, but say it to my face and make me believe it?"

The problem was, she didn't know if she could do as he asked, because the minute she saw him standing there in the greenroom with her, she had known that he still held the keys to her heart. She missed him, more then she had ever told Trish, more then she had even truly admitted to herself. But she knew she had done the right thing, they were not in the same places in life and he just needed to hear that love and in color.

"Shane do we really have to do this?"

"Yes Stacy we do. You walked away from me, saying that your life was here now and that you needed to do your thing and let me do mine and we weren't going down the same paths. I mean come on, i deserve better and I know you didn't mean a word of it."

Was she that transparent? Had he really gotten into her soul this much and he was just able to tell that she was lying to him and about how she really felt? Did he also know the secret that she kept from him now, so tightly walked away? Was he that good at reading her mind.

"Trish told me that you wanted to marry me. Is that true?" she choked out, trying to present herself as having no emotion but knowing instantly that it was not going to work. She cared more then she wanted to at that answer. She wished he would just go away and leave her to wallow alone.

"Yes, I was planning on asking you when we got home to Carolina the night you sent the letter to me."

She wanted to cry. She had wanted to hear those words so often from him and he hadn't bothered to say them. But now, because she had walked away, he was now telling her that he wanted to put her first and that they would work everything out later. All he wanted now was her. The realization of that statement was almost too much to bare. Had she really walked away from a man so willing to give his life to her? To make her his wife in every way possible?

"What about your career?"

He moved closer to her then, and reached out to touch her, but before he could get to her, she backed away and into the doorway of the bathroom. As much as she wanted him to touch her, she knew that if he did, there would be no way to break the chain and she would be lost in him all over again. Not that she wasn't already lost without him, but more so. He may want to marry her, but surely he wasn't looking to be a father. Not when his career was finally on the upstart.

"Stacy, I don't want to talk about the WWE and what may or may not happen there. I want you to tell me why you walked away from me?"

The tear fell then, single and alone, much as she felt in the moment and she turned her head away. But not before he saw the tear and reached up to turn her face back to him. He wiped it away with the smallest of gestures, and then backed away again, giving her room. He wanted answers but he was not going to push so hard to get them.

"I had to do it Shane, don't you see? We could never be happy. You could never be happy with a life with me in Hollywood and you god knows where in the world. What kind of life is that for us? For any family we might have?"

"You used to be a part of that world Stacy and you never complained then. So what changed now? And why are you dating that guy when you know you gave your heart to me and I won't give it back?"

So many questions he had and none that she could really answer without telling him in so many words that she was carrying his child. She did not want to get overly emotional now, what with the nausea that she was feeling still kicking around. She was already starting to feel dizzy and if she didn't end this visit soon, she might just faint on him. Something she did not want to do.

"Shane, just go home alright? You want answers then fine. I like Geoff, he is amazing and we really like each other and we have something that you and I didn't. My life is here now and I need you to accept that I moved on and I don't need you anymore."

The sting of her words was written all over his face and she knew it but she had a baby to think about and a life that did not have Shane in it. He wanted to give her the world and she knew that if she allowed it, he would do whatever he could to make it happen but she also knew that his first love was the ring and she couldn't be so selfish to make him walk away from it. All for the sake of the baby and a normal life.

"Fine Stacy, I guess what you said in the letter was right. I just wanted to hear it for myself. I won't bother you again but just remember that no other man will love you the way that I did, and I still do now."

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**So while you're outside looking in  
Describing what you see  
Remember what you're staring at is me**

It had been a week since he had left Hollywood and walked away from Stacy Keibler once and for all. One fateful week where all his heart did was break further and further with each passing minute. He wanted to forget about her, to do what he had said he would and forget about what they had and move on but it was impossible. Not when the vision of her, sickly and crying before him in the greenroom of the show tore his mind in two.

She was pushing him away, with such force that he should get the hint and just walk away but he knew better then that. He knew that she would never fight him this hard, to make him want to forget her unless there was something more going on. There was indeed something troubling the love of his life and he knew he could not let go unless and until he figured it out.

It was this that he had explained to Jeff when he returned from his trip and it was the younger Hardy who also felt there was more going on and also that he should not give up. So he hadn't. But with each passing moment, the pain threatened to take hold of him and change him. He was losing control little by little over it and as he sat alone in the locker room, awaiting Jeff's return, he knew it was pointless to fight it any longer.

He had agreed to move on, he had told Stacy as much when he walked out on her that day, and in that vein he was putting on a show for his friends as well as himself. He had agreed to go out on a date with one of the single Smack down Diva's and as he awaited Jeff's entrance to the locker room to make good on the double date, he couldn't help feeling that it was indeed what he was doing. Putting on another show for the people around him to make them think he was indeed happy to move away from Stacy and to another female.

But he wasn't, and he knew he would never be. There was a path that each person was destined to follow, and after the message he had received on the flight to go and see Stacy, he knew it more then ever. He was destined to be with her, to love her for the rest of his life. He knew that this date would mean nothing, as much nothing as the rest of his life did these days. He needed to find a way to be with her, to make her see that what she wanted for them was not what was best for them.

The locker room door opened then and a sweaty and beaten down Jeff Hardy entered through it, slumping himself down on the bench beside his friend and laying his head on the cold wall behind them. He always did this and the routine of it all made Shane smile. Some things never did change. He only wished the same could be said about his love life. It just wasn't where it should be and where he wanted it to be.

"One hell of a match out there man."

Jeff grunted and stood slowly, noticing instantly how much he needed a shower and also how much he needed to get out of the arena and back to the life he really loved, the love of his wife and their soon to be child.

Before he made his way to the showers though, he seemed to sense something in his friend and he turned back to look at him. To really look at him, almost as if he could indeed see inside the young mans mind.

"If you don't want to do this tonight man, just say so now so I can call Trish."

Shane tried to shrug it off. To make Jeff see that indeed he wanted to go out with Ashley tonight and spend time moving on. But it was no use, not where Jeff was concerned because Shane knew that he would just see right through it. He always did.

"I don't have a choice man. As much as I know something is going on with Stacy, until she lets me in, I can't do anything to help her. I can't stand around here forever waiting for her to come to her senses. Not to mention you told me that if I broke this date, Trish would have my balls in a noose. I don't want that and I definitely don't want to hear that you had yours put there instead."

Jeff laughed and headed into the shower. Shane had a point of course. Trish didn't know anything about what the two men were talking about where Stacy was concerned. Only that she had pushed Shane even further away when he had gone to her. So she was adamant now that Ashley really wanted this date and that nothing should come between it.

And with the way Shane was talking now, nothing would.

* * *

"You don't really want to be here with me do you Shane?" the young woman asked him, the smile playing on her lips, trying to make him more comfortable but yet falling short because Shane looked anything but comfortable here with her tonight.

"Ash, it isn't you. We're friends, but I just don't think there is going to be anything more then friendship between us. I mean you dated Matt, and he is my best friend in the world. Not to mention my life isn't exactly on the right course at the moment either."

She nodded but it was obvious to Shane that she just didn't seem to get it. She knew about Stacy, hell she was best friends with Stacy as well as Trish, but it was obvious that she assumed that since Stacy had walked away, she would be easy to just forget.

_What can she possibly be hiding from me? What could make her run so far away and be so afraid of me?_

He had asked himself ten or so variations of that same question and with every one of them, no answer seemed to come that made any sense. He was a quiet guy, he never yelled or laid a hand on anyone, or for that matter anything. Hell he even had problems killing bugs when he was home. So what was so fearful with him and what was it that made her run for her life?

The voice came to him then, again like it had on the plane over a week before, causing him pause but at the same time, reflection.

_My son, she is running from herself and the secret she fears threatens to ruin what the two of you did share._

Just what could that mean? What threat was there between them that they couldn't overcome together? What was it that had happened to Stacy that she felt would tear her and Shane even further apart then they already were.

"Shane I like you and you know that. I always have thought the world of you. If you ever need me, you know where to find me. But since you don't seem to be having much fun and well we all know I am not having any, then maybe we should call this a night."

Ashley's voice brought him back to the present and away from the thoughts that seemed to be haunting his soul. She was right of course. Tonight was not fun for anyone and he didn't know why he agreed to it in the first place. With a higher power telling him that the woman he loved was running from him with a secret so big it could tear him in two, he knew that he might never have fun again until he found out what that was.

He hugged her then, as tightly as he could muster, to let her know just how sorry he was for the way that he had acted on this supposed date, and also to let her know that indeed he valued her friendship but that was all that there ever would be.

As he bid the woman before him goodnight, he let his thoughts linger on the one woman he couldn't get out of his mind and wondering just what she was doing tonight and if she was doing it alone the way he was.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

**Authors Notes:** I am getting forgetful in my old age I tell you. Well not old age, but in my parenting years. I have totally forgotten to thank any and all of you for the reviews in this story thus far. I really do appreciate each and every one of them and they help fuel me when I write because I realize that there are people out there that like this and would like to see it continued. So thank you and on with the next installment.

* * *

**Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...  
Don't know how much time has passed**

She picked up the magazine, having a rare moment to herself and started to scan through the pages. It was when she was about halfway through the magazine that she saw her own name and she felt her heart stop.

Sure enough, she was indeed seeing her name in print, and the story that followed was not in the least bit flattering. Just how long had this article been planned and why, with all of the new people around her, to protect her from this sort of thing, wasn't she told about it?

Passing the clerk along the three dollars for the piece of trash in front of her, she made her way out of the store and out onto the street. She caught sight of the nearest bench and made her way over to it. She had so much planned for today, so many things she wanted to get done before she was due back at the studio for the next taping of the show she was on, but now, as she sat looking at the magazine, she found all she wanted to do was find out what was being said about her.

**The Real Life of Stacy Keibler of WWE Fame**

Right away she knew this wasn't going to be any good. Sure she had not done a whole lot of things in her life that she was worried about but she did know that the tabloids had a way of making something innocent look like it was a mortal sin and that was the last thing she needed or wanted to see.

She scanned the article slowly, taking the whole idea of it in and let her mind get lost in the writings.

_With the appearance of a WWE superstar on a much talked about ABC show, we figured we should look into her background and find out just what Stacy Keibler might be hiding. What we didn't expect was to find that what actually happened in her time with the WWE to be so dramatic and filled with pain._

_Stacy started early with a career in the WCW which has now been bought out by the WWE owner Vincent Kennedy McMahon. He took the young lady under his wing and used her, to the best of her ability, which at the time of this writing was slim to none, and made her into a household name. Or at the very least a name that people thought of when they thought of televised prostitutes._

_She began a relationship with Andrew Martin, who went by the ring name Test and who was originally from Canada. After a few years together they decided that they were not suitable and they broke up. It was then that the young woman began a relationship with a young up and comer named Gregory Helms. He has been known to use the monikers of The Hurricane, and Shane Helms, a mild mannered reporter, a superman rip off. _

_Things seemed at that point to quiet down for the young Keibler as their relationship basically went under the radar but at the time of this printing, we have since spoken to the young man in question and he let us in on a few things we might not have known about Stacy._

"_She walked away from the company and from me without a second glance. She was only worried about her career in the Hollywood scene the entire time and is not worth the money the WWE paid her when she was employed with them."_

She stopped reading the article then, more taken aback by what Shane had been quoted as saying about her then about the other trash they had managed to dig up. She had skimmed the parts about her growing up and her parents relationship and the like, more interested in what they had found out about her personal life now then anything else.

Had Shane really said those things recently? And why would he do that? She knew deep inside that she had hurt him. She knew more then ever now since the day he came to see her in New York at the Regis show. She had pushed him away further then and he had been hurt when he walked away but she never in a million years thought that he would say those things about her.

'Not worth the money the WWE paid her?'

Surely Shane would not have something so cold like that, or at least if he had then he would have called her and told her that they had taken him the wrong way. She didn't want to believe for a second he would do this to her, to their child, the one that he knew nothing about. Surely this had to be a misprint or a bunch of lies.

She pulled out her cell phone then and dialed the number that she knew by heart. Sure it was long distance, but she no longer cared. She needed answers and she would not be able to move on with her day until she got them. He answered instantly and she sighed with relief. At least he was still able to answer calls from her.

"Shane, how could you?"

He didn't say anything for a few moments and with the silence that ensued, Stacy knew that he had indeed said those things and he was afraid to talk about it because she had found out and was mad at him. He had always been that way with her, afraid to admit to what he had done wrong because it might make her hate him. While she had never hated him before, it was taking all her energy not to right at that moment.

"What do you expect from me Stacy? They came and hit me up right after you broke my heart. Of course I said those things then. It doesn't mean I even believe them though."

He had a point and she knew it. She had been the one to run away and if it had been her on the end of this story like Shane was, she surely would have said something far worse, something that could have broken Shane down for good. But it wasn't her on the other end of this and it was Shane. Could she really blame him for what he had said? When it might just be true?

"I just had to know if you really said those things. Sorry for the bother."

She was about to hang up when she heard him call out rather loudly through the phone not too. She put the phone back to her ear and just listened.

"Stacy I can't make you come back to me, I know that now more then ever but in order for me to really move on and forget what you mean to me, I need you to tell me just why it is that you walked away in the first place. The real reason and not the lie you want me to believe."

Did she dare tell him this now? Did she bring up the fact that she was carrying his child and her real reasons for running away from him? Or did she continue on with her life the way it was, magazine article or not and forget that the young man in Carolina didn't exist?

"You know why I did it Shane? I did it for the same reason you said those things to the reporter. You and I just never worked together. I told you that in New York and I am telling you again now. I can't believe what you have done to me and to what we had Shane and I will never forget it."

She slammed the phone closed and let out a huge breath and a sigh. She had covered her bases again and now she hoped that would finally be the end of it and he would leave it be. Surely now he couldn't really think there was more to her leaving then there really was right?

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**All I know is that it feels like forever  
When no one ever tells you that forever  
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head **

"Do you have a second?" Trish said, popping her head into the locker room and seeing Shane lacing up the tale end of his boots, almost ready for action. She had taken a chance coming here, but she knew that the tabloids surely had been seen by Stacy and that Shane had probably gotten an earful. At the very least Trish was certain no one else knew about the baby but she also knew that it was time that one certain person should.

"For you anything." Shane commented, not bothering to look up from the task at hand and just figuring that Trish would say what she was there to say regardless of if he watched her or not.

"I saw the magazine Shane, I know what you said about Stacy. I guess I felt the need to talk to you because I want to know why you said it."

He looked up then, looking the Diva directly in the eyes. Sometimes he loved this woman, he thought she was one of the best women around, but right now, he didn't really want to hear what an ass he was for saying what he said about Stacy, all he wanted to do was forget that he had said it.

"Why do you think I said it?" he snapped angrily.

"Because she hurt you when she walked away. I know all of that already Shane but there is something more going on with her then what she is telling you."

Shane watched the young woman before him now and the light bulb went off in his head. There was a reason none of the other women knew what was going on with Stacy and that was because she didn't trust any of them. The only person on the entire roster the entire time they had been together that Stacy had talked about was Trish. So maybe she did know what Stacy was doing and just what she hoped to accomplish by doing it.

"What is she hiding?"

Trish felt an attack of nerves come over her. She hadn't even talked to her husband about this, taking Stacy's request to heart but she just didn't know how much longer she could go on lying to everyone around her about what was going on with Stacy. It was time that Shane knew that there was a baby involved. No one knew that better then Trish as she was pregnant as well and knew how happy Jeff was about it.

She also knew that she just couldn't come right out and tell him what was going on, not without a hell of a lot of questions that at the moment she did not have the answers too. She wanted him to figure it out for himself and she only hoped that he could do it and do it fast. Before she smacked him over the head with the news of his being a father.

"Why do you think she would run from you Shane? What indication has she given you?"

He thought about it for a mere second and shot the answer back to Trish without a blink of an eye.

"She said to me that we were on two different paths and that what I wanted was different from what she wanted. Apparently she can get that elsewhere in Hollywood."

"Why do you think she would say that Shane? I mean tell me why you think you two would be on different paths."

He shrugged his shoulders then, letting Trish know that for all the brain racking he had done, he hadn't come up with a reason for that to be the reason they broke it off.

"I told her you wanted to marry her, so she now knows that for that you were on the same page but there is more to this Shane, a lot more and it involves more then the two of you."

He thought about what Trish was telling him for a few minutes, letting it all sink in and take its affect. She then saw the change come over his face, and the light that normally filled his eyes grew dim. He finally knew the real reason she had run from him.

"She was pregnant wasn't she?"

Trish just nodded, almost not trusting herself to say the words because if she did, then the confidence that Stacy had given her would be broken, never to be repaired again. She knew she shouldn't be here, getting involved this way but there were just some things you didn't hide from the people you loved. A baby was a pretty damn big one not too.

"How long have you known?"

"Two weeks and she told me not to tell you, or Jeff for that matter. I don't know what possessed me to come here and do just that but Shane I know you love her, and I know what you said in that rag meant nothing and she knows it deep down too. She also knows deep down that she left you for the wrong reasons but her pride won't let her admit it. She still believes that you are better off not knowing you have a child."

He looked at the clock and then back to Trish. He had a match to get prepped for in mere minutes but he found himself wanting to run out of the arena and right back to Stacy's arms, to let her know that she had made a mistake, that he had made one too and that he wouldn't let her leave him ever again. So much for being mentally ready for the wrestling match.

"What do I do here Trish?"

"Get her to admit to it, and then go from there. Make her see that what you want and what she wants are the same things. It worked with me and Jeff and I know with some time and a lot of talking it can work for you too."

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**How much is real? So much to question **

_I am going to be a father and she didn't even bother to tell me._

Shane knew it was overkill, sitting here this way in the darkness of the hotel room, the curtains drawn so not to let the city lights in, thinking about what Trish had told him earlier in the evening. He had known that Stacy leaving had been strange and that there had been more to it but he had never expected it to be something like this.

He was going to be a father and the mother of the child thought it was best that he didn't know about it? She had been with him for so long she had to know that he would love a child no matter if it was planned or not. Hell he had been five steps away from proposing to her the night she broke up with him and moved halfway around the country. He wanted the life that she had wanted, that she had prodded him about all those months ago.

He had so many questions and he knew that the only person that could answer them was Stacy but he didn't want to see her and spring all of this on her all at once. There was more then himself to think about now. She had to be taken care of in the best way possible and he had to make sure that he was the one who did it. She would eventually bring their child into this world, giving Shane the most powerful gift and he did not want to leave anything to chance.

The airport had already been called and a flight booked for the next morning, prepared to land later the same night. He knew that he shouldn't be walking out on the company that had given him the ability to live his dreams but he knew at this time, finding out about Stacy and the baby was the most important thing. His career would be there tomorrow but he knew Stacy would not be if he didn't move quickly.

He had to let her know that he knew about the baby and that he wanted her to come home with him. He had read recently that the show she was filming with Barry Watson had been canceled and that she was now out of a full time gig. That would mean she would be free to come home to Carolina with him, to the place she loved more then any other place in the world and she could finally be free to rest and take care of herself. Shane would see to it or he would die trying.

He loved her, despite knowing that she hid something as big as this from him. He knew the reasoning behind what she did and where most people would be angry, he was just upset. He assumed their relationship could handle anything, they could always talk and share things so that nothing bad ever happened to them, but apparently he had been misguided and she had assumed different.

He knew it was going to be an uphill climb to get her to admit that she cared for him and wanted to be with him still, but he was willing to go the distance. Stacy didn't love the man she was pretending to be with now, the man in Hollywood more then he loved any people he had gone out with since she walked out on him. Shane just knew he had to get through to her this time or there might not be another time to do it.

He wanted her and this baby in his life and this time he was not going to take no for an answer.

* * *

_God this table is cold, not to mention dark and lonely. I wish I was anywhere but here right now._

She looked around the room, taking in all of the medical pamphlets that were lying around and the posters screaming at her about safe sex. If she wasn't waiting for the ultrasound tech to start talking to her to fill the void she might have laughed out loud.

She had used protection with Shane and look where it had gotten her. Alone and pregnant in a ultrasound room waiting to find out the sex of the baby and even if it was alright. They normally did not do ultrasounds at this stage of the game but she had asked for it. With all of the stress from the tabloids digging and what Shane had said about her, she felt she needed to make sure everything was going alright.

She heard it then, the distinct sound and whooshing sound from the machine as the tech guided the monitor over her stomach, the warm goo already starting to harden and stick to her abdomen. "Very strong heartbeat on this one"

She smiled at the tech, a young woman who didn't look much older then she did. She was happy to just hear the beating of the heart and knowing it was still alright in there. She had been so worried the past week that all of the stress would hurt her and the baby but her fears were now starting to subside.

The tech pointed to the screen and motioned for Stacy to look at what she was pointing out.

"There you can see the beginnings of the feet and arms, and the head is starting to take a really good shape. You won't see more distinct details until you are twenty weeks along, but right now it looks like what we need to look for is all there and looking beautiful."

Stacy breathed a sigh of relief. No one knew just how worried she had been about this, not even Trish when she had called the night before to check in. She just couldn't tell anyone about her fears because if they got back to Shane then it would surely cause more trouble then it was worth.

She wasn't mad about what he said anymore, if anything she understood it and just wanted to forget any of it had ever happened. She was well on her way to doing that but at the same time she wondered why she couldn't just tell him about the baby and make a family with him since deep down that was what she really wanted. Why was it so easy to overlook a mistake but yet not to take him back?

She knew the answers she wanted would never come and as she continued to watch the ultrasound technician do her thing, rubbing the goo all over her body, she thought about her amnio appointment the week before. They had wanted to check for any genetic abnormalities to make sure that the baby would be healthy upon birth and at the same time she had asked to find out the sex.

They didn't normally do it here but she had requested that they let the ultrasound technician and doctor know the information so that she could start preparing right away. The tech took the monitor off her stomach and then wiped down the goo with the paper towel that was next to her chair. After a few minutes of scanning her notes and double checking that she had gotten everything she needed to get, she turned to Stacy with a smile that could surely have lit up the darkened room.

"Well Miss Keibler, congratulations, you are apparently having a girl."

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**An epidemic of the mannequins  
Contaminating everything  
When thought came from the heart  
It never did right from the start **

_I am having Shane's baby girl._

The magnitude of that statement hit her like the force from a Mack truck. In all of her life if there was anything she had wanted it was a large family, something that Shane had told her he wanted as well. Now she was halfway there, carrying his baby, starting that family that they both so desperately wanted.

But there was one monkey wrench thrown into the whole thing. The one thing that Stacy couldn't forget because she was the reason behind it. Shane didn't have a clue that she was carrying his baby, let alone his baby girl. The picture of the perfect family that they both said they wanted was broken now and she had no one to blame but herself.

_Just call him and tell him to come to Hollywood. You know it's the right thing to do._

Of course she knew it was the right thing to do but it didn't make the easy thing to do. How was she going to explain to Shane that she had run from him while carrying his baby and that now she finally thought it was best he know the truth? He would never accept that she had run off this way and he might even fight her when it came to the baby. She had no idea what he would be like in that sort of situation because she had never put him there before.

_He will not do that to you or the baby. He is different dear daughter of mine._

The voice this time, the one that she had become so accustomed to being hers, sounded different this time. She knew instantly that it wasn't her brain communicating with her heart the way it usually did but that it was something else. Something unheard of with her and something she did not want to face.

Was a higher power trying to tell her that Shane would never do what she thinks he might do? Was it guiding her to where she needed to be? With Shane and their daughter the way that he had planned it? Could it possible that she was talking to God and never even knew it?

She shook her head, trying to block the crazy thoughts from filling up her mind. There was no way she was talking to God. There was no way even if she was that God would want to help her considering the badness she had brought on herself and this innocent child. The child didn't need this and Stacy knew it deep down but her pride got in the way. She wanted Shane more then anything to want this baby and he just wouldn't, not at this point in his life and career.

She let herself into the apartment and closed the door behind her. As she turned around she saw them, hundreds of candles filling up the entire living room area, all white in color and all lit to perfection. There on the table in front of her there were roses, hundreds of them as well, just placed in the proper vases all over the room. Just what on God's green acres was going on here?

She touched one of the roses gently and let it slide through her fingertips, loving the scent and the feel of them on her fingers. Could Geoff have possibly done all this without her knowledge? She instantly knew he couldn't have because even though they had been dating for some time now, she hadn't given him a key to the apartment she kept. She preferred to live out of hotel rooms and only use this house when she really needed to unwind.

So now the question was, who had done this and just what was going on in her apartment?

Before she could speak out loud she saw him, like a vision standing in the kitchen doorway, apron on and steam all around him from what was obviously cooking food in her kitchen. Just how he had gotten into her apartment was beyond her, but at that moment she found that she no longer cared. All Stacy cared about was that he was here and that if she had her way he would never leave her again.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

**Authors Notes:** Thank you for any and all reviews. This story should be wrapping up within the next few chapters, so look for the next authors note I write to be the one where I say its the end of this particular story, but not the end of the series. Thank you for the support thus far and I hope you like it!

* * *

**Just listen to the noises  
(No more sad voices)  
Before you tell yourself  
It's just a different scene  
Remember it's just different from what you've seen**

"Shane what are you doing here?" Stacy asked as she made her way further into the apartment, looking at the way it seemed to be transformed from the dullness that had existed before. "How did you get in here in the first place?"

Shane smiled, watching her take it all in. Sure he might look bad for doing this the way he had but he knew there was no other way he could do things if he wanted to make her tell him the truth and make it stick this time. There was no more running away for her, he wouldn't let her. Not when there was a baby and a family involved.

That was what he considered them of course, a family and he was going to be damned if he let that slip through his fingers again. He had taken too long to ask her to marry him missing out on the opportunity all together. She had run thousands of miles from him because of it not knowing he had planned it and now he had to make it right.

"I bribed the doorman downstairs to let me in. He managed to scrounge up a key and let me in here. I have been here for a few hours now and getting everything ready so that when you came home from wherever you were, you would see it."

"But why? Why all of this? Why now when I told you specifically to leave me the hell alone the last time we spoke."

"You didn't mean it Stacy. You love me. And before you say that you don't anymore, I can see right through it. The look on your face right now says it all. You didn't want to run from me but I don't blame you anymore for running. You thought you had to because you wanted a certain kind of life and I was too stupid to give it to you back then."

"So what makes you so smart now?" she said, crossing her arms across her chest, trying her hardest not to let the words he was now saying affect her. She knew she had made the right choice in leaving at the time, but the more he talked, the worse she felt. He still had no idea the real reason she had took off and backed away from him.

"I'm not all that smart now Stacy. I know that you only ran away a few weeks ago. But what I know now that I didn't before is the reason why you felt you needed to run. But you don't have run anymore honey because I am here and I want you just as much as I did the day I met you."

He knew the real reason she had left? How was that possible? She scanned her mind trying to figure out how he suddenly knew and the picture floated to her mind instantly. Trish had gone ahead and told him everything despite having promised not too. She sighed inside herself and realized she never should have told her to begin with. It wasn't Trish's fault, she was probably being hounded and felt the need to let it end.

"And what reason do you have for why I left?"

"You wanted a marriage, a stable home and a family in the future. All of which I can give you but I just took too long to ask you to take. I was planning on doing this weeks ago but there is no time like the present." He said, cutting off and proceeding to get down on one knee.

Stacy knew what was coming of course, she had seen this coming a mile away ever since she had found out that he wanted to marry her when Trish had visited weeks before. But it didn't make any of this any easier. She just couldn't say yes to him right now, not when he didn't know everything. Surely if he knew she was pregnant he would have mentioned it by now and the fact that he hadn't only made her more nervous.

Would he want to marry her still once he found out the truth? The REAL reason that she had turned her back on him. Surely he wouldn't. What man in their right mind would when they worked the way that Shane had?

"Stacy Marie Keibler, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

She stared a hole through him as she kneeled on the floor. Now was the time, do or die and she knew that she just couldn't give him what he really wanted. Not until she told him everything and made things right again.

Did she want to marry Shane? More then anything in the world but with the past the way it was and the future so uncertain, Geoff still in her life as her new boyfriend and fiance, she just couldn't say yes without being totally honest.

"Shane, please...I can't do this right now. There is so much you do not know."

He stood from the floor and motioned for her to sit down on the sofa off to the side of them. She did as he asked and as they both sat she turned to him, putting his hand into hers, the tears already threatening to fall. There was so much she needed to do, to say to him right now that she didn't know where to begin. All she knew was that she couldn't move forward with her life until it was all out in the open. The time for running had past, Shane was right about that.

It was now time to tell him the truth whether he wanted to hear it or not.

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

* * *

**I'm looking at you through the glass...  
Don't know how much time has passed**

He rubbed his arms along the small of her back, trying to make her feel more comfortable with what she was about to tell him. Of course he knew most of what that was but he wanted her to tell him in her own time, and not have it be because she assumed he knew already. His mind was running a thousand miles a minute, wanting to tell her he knew about he baby and how happy she had made him just because of that fact but he stayed silent and allowed her the chance to talk.

"Shane the real reason i ran from you is not because you were not ready to commit to me. I know now that I was wrong about that and had I given you the time to do it, you would have asked me to marry you. Trish told me all of that weeks ago before you came to visit me. I made a huge mistake then and I know that now but the real reason I ran was because I'm pregnant."

He allowed his face to finally show some of the emotions that he was feeling as she continued on, not taking much a break in what she needed to tell him.

"I ran because we had talked about this and you told me how much your career meant to you right now and I thought a baby would complicate matters. I still believe that right now too. I don't think you are really ready to take this one and so that is why I can't marry you. We are at different places in our lives right now. I am fully prepared to be a real mother to this child and you just aren't there yet."

He couldn't take any more of this. She was basing all of her decisions on what she thought she knew about him and she knew nothing. Sure she loved him and had gotten close enough to him over the years to almost read his mind but what she was doing now was nowhere close to reading his mind.

She was taking her fears at not being ready to be a mother and her career here in Hollywood and making it seem like he was not the one that was ready. But he was indeed ready and the marriage proposal was proof of that face. If she was not ready for all of that then that was something else entirely but he did not want to sit here and make this about him anymore.

"It's not me Stacy that's afraid here, its you. I want to marry you, I asked you didn't I? I want to be a father to this baby and work with you as parents to make this child grow up happy. If it means walking away from the business I love so much then so be it. Because Stacy in case you didn't know, I love you and this child more then I could ever love working in a wrestling ring."

He placed his hand on her stomach then and felt the very small bump that was beginning to grow there. Inside her body right now was the makings of a very special child and he would walk to the ends of the earth to make sure this child never felt the pain that he had growing up. He wanted the best for it and it wasn't even born yet.

"Have you been going to appointments and taking vitamins?" he asked, not wanting to push her in the slightest but knowing deep inside he had to know if the baby was doing alright. He had to make sure the both of them were. He was planning on taking care of them for a long time to come and it had to start somewhere.

"Yes Shane but there is more that you need to know. Something I didn't tell you when you came to see me and I should have. Another reason that I wanted you to move on from me."

He cast a look at her of complete confusion, having believed that he had known everything about her that there was to know. He had no idea now what she was about to tell him and he only hoped that it wasn't something that couldn't be fixed.

"I agreed to marry Geoff."

"That dude from 7th Heaven? You are kidding me right? I mean you have only been dating him for a week or two right?"

She hung her head down and nodded. Sure she had rushed into it but seeing as she was about to have a baby and she wasn't married to the father or rather not even dating him at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. She knew now though that it wasn't and she was tired of pretending that what she was doing was right. It was all wrong and the realization of that had finally hit her between the eyes.

"So then break it off. Come back to Carolina with me, have the baby and then go back to work out here if you want. But you are not going to be marrying him. I will not allow it. Not when I wanted to ask you first and wasn't given the chance. Stop running from me Stacy and come home where you belong."

She knew he was right but something still felt off inside of her mind and heart. "Just where do I belong Shane?"

"With me and our child. It doesn't matter where it is, here or Carolina but you belong with us and I am going to forever show you that."

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** All WWE references are used here purely for entertainment purpose only. The WWE is owned by Vincent McMahon. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** As he goes from his old persona into a new one at the head offices bidding, Shane Helms reflects on the one that got away and just what in the world he can do to get her back.

**Distribution List:** WWE Fan Fiction Library – Open and Selected Archive, Fan Fiction (DOT) Net, and my own personal site when I get around to updating the damn thing.

**Authors Notes:** This is the end of this fiction and with it comes the next installment of the series which will star Shawn Michaels and a yet to be named female lead. Thank you for all the reviews and support for this fiction and I will see you in the reply to Pm's where i will send you all my personal thank you notes as I normally do. Happy Reading!

* * *

**And all I know is that it feels like forever  
When no one ever tells you that forever  
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head**

He waited with baited breath for her to answer him, to give him some sort of hope for their future. He would be lying if he said he wasn't worried that she was still going to tell him no. That she had moved on with her life and there just wasn't a place for him in it. If she did he would understand but he hoped against all hope that she would look at it a different way and realize they belonged together.

"What do you want me to say here Shane? I am dating someone new, someone that i cannot just forget about. If I do then word will get around and I cannot let that happen."

"Why can't you just tell him that your heart belongs to another man and it always will? I mean thats the truth here isn't it Stacy? Don't you love me?"

She nodded her head, not trusting her voice to speak the words her heart so obviously believed. It was true, she could break things off with Geoff rather quickly and unless he went to the press crying injury to the heart there would be no backlash. Hell she knew deep down she didn't care about that, all she cared about was being a mother and a wife, both of which she could do if she just chose Shane to be that man.

She did love him, more then life itself and now that he knew about the baby, and still wanted to be there with her, she had everything she had always dreamed of having. So why wasn't she happy?

_Because you are still not being honest with him, which means you aren't being honest with yourself._

There was more that she hadn't told him, that she hadn't told anyone, another reason as to why she could never really be what Shane wanted her to be. Something that she hadn't even gotten the strength up to tell her parents about and something she could not admit to herself yet either.

Could she tell him now and shatter each and every dream that he had in his minds eye? She wanted to be a part of his life so badly, to be there to raise this baby with him but she knew she would never be able to do that with a clear conscience.

"Stacy what is it? What aren't you telling me that is keeping you from just agreeing to be my wife."

_Shane, the reason i can't marry you and be your wife and a mother to this child in Carolina is because I am dying._

God why was that so easy to say in her mind but not easy to say to him now as he looked deep into her eyes, his live etched there like a drawing. This man wanted to be a part of her heart and without wanting too, she was pushing him away.

_Dear God help me find the right answer here. Help me make Shane understand what is going on here and why i can't say yes to the one thing he wants more then his own life._

"I can't Shane, I just can't marry you. I love you, you know I do but I am just not ready to take that step."

He looked away from her then, the rejection taking over his whole body as it slumped into the sofa, pain leaving its markings and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. He had hoped and prayed and now as he sat there on her sofa, in a place he felt no love in at all, he knew he had finally lost.

The woman he loved was no longer his to love and there was not a damn thing he could do about it.

He stood from the sofa then, not daring to look his love in the face, for fear of breaking down in front of her and made his way for the door. He needed to breathe again and the only way he was going to do that was to get out of this apartment and far away from the hurt that surrounded it.

Before he could get to the door though, she ran to him, grabbed him by the arm and spun him around using all of the strength she could muster. "Don't leave like this please, let me finish telling you why I can't marry you. You deserve to know why."

But did he want to know? He searched deep inside himself, willing the answers to come to him and nothing would appear. He loved this woman and the more she spoke she was breaking his heart. How much could one person take before they finally agreed that they had had enough?

"Stacy, I can't bear to hear anymore of it alright. You said what you needed to say and I can't make you love me, I cannot make you want to marry me. I guess you were right all along, our lives just were not going on the same path."

_**God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.**_

The words hit the both of them like lightning bolt and they both locked eyes with each other one last time. They had both known there was a force that was unexplained between them, but now as they stood in the barren apartment filled with flowers, they knew they had been touched by it again.

"Shane I'm dying."

"What?" he questioned in disbelief. "What do you mean you're dying? You couldn't look healthier if you tried."

She knew this to be true, the full damage had not been done yet. She had developed a brain tumor over a year ago. They had thought with the right medical attention it would go away, but it hadn't and it was slowly getting worse. She was pregnant, going to have this baby and she needed to start chemo the minute the pregnancy was done. It was going to be an uphill battle. One that she now knew she couldn't do alone. No matter what her mind wanted to make her believe.

"It's a brain tumor Shane, something they tried to take care of and couldn't. I do not know how much time I really have, but they hope to start chemo after our daughter is born. Thats the real reason I ran from you. I just couldn't bear to tell you the truth. Then when I found out I was pregnant, my mind really was made up. I couldn't make you stick around for something that wouldn't always be there."

He looked at her as she spoke, realizing that she wasn't lying to him anymore. What she was giving him now was the honest to goodness truth and he breathed a sigh of relief that she had finally realized that he had to know everything.

"How long have you known?"

"Over a year now, but thats from the first diagnosis."

She had hidden it from him all this time and hadn't let on for one second that there was a thing wrong with her. "Why Stacy? Why did you hide this from me?"

"I thought if I just held in there, it would go away on its own and I would be alright. When it didn't well I had already been lying for so long it didn't hurt to keep it up. But mostly I couldn't tell you because I wanted you to always have the memory of me being alive and happy in your mind. You did do that for me Shane, you made me so happy."

"I love you, I want to be there with you through the good and the bad, don't you know that? We can fight this and God help me, we can win, just please Stacy let me be there for you in every way I can. As your best friend, as your husband, your lover, and the father of your child. Don't shut me out anymore."

She let him envelope her into a hug then and she nodded her head into his chest before letting the tears fall. Whatever the outcome she had finally confessed the truth to the man before her now and he still loved her enough to be there. Everything might turn out badly but in the end, she knew that whenever her time came, she would go happily knowing she had the love of the first and only man she had ever truly loved.

* * *


End file.
